Tough.

Last night was pretty strange. Everything started when my friend Mint asked about Cheska and I's status.. I really don't know what to say. I don't want it coming from me 'cause Cheska might think that I'm assuming things that I shouldn't. I want it to come from her so I asked her.. She didn't know either so I started asking questions. I asked her about how she truly feels about me, "Happy but scared.. Scared of falling in love". I don't know why every time she says that to me I feel like shit, a liar, and insincere so we ended up fighting. We keep on fighting about my sincerity, her feelings, my feelings and I got fed up about it. We can't move forward unless she sort out her feelings. 

I lost my temper last night and was trying to get a grip of my feelings and reached my turning point and was about to give up and move on with my life... but things turned when she said "I know what I really want. I guess it's you". I believe her but a part of me doesn't.. What if she changes her mind again? What if something like this will happen? I really love her but everytime I do something, she feels more and more scared. I don't know what to do.

 I can't bear getting my hopes up.. but it's the risk I'm willing to take.